What are the three most beautiful words in the English language? "You are right"? "Comes with fries"? "I prefer cuddling"? Wrong, wrong, wrong. Try "All Wheel Drive" out for size. See how it just rolls off the tongue? Not only does AWD have a nice ring to it, it might be the greatest invention known to human kind EVER. Today is a beautiful, blustery snow day. It snowed all night dumping about a foot to a foot and a half over the midnight hours. When snow falls in the middle of the night, that usually means no plowing, no sidewalks cleared and definitely no outdoor parking garage shoveling. Does this trouble me in the least? No ma'am. Why? A. W. D. Ask me how long I spent shoveling my car out of it's snowy tomb. Try zero minutes. Ask me how many times my car fishtailed or spun its wheels while backing up and driving out of the garage and then down the street. Um, again, zero. And then, you can feel free to ask me how long it took to find a parking space at work because the side streets hadn't been plowed to the curb. Zero minutes again. And why is the sum total of all these questions zero? Because AWD was part of the equation. I just blew into a snow filled spot, jubilantly claiming it in the name of AWD.
If All Wheel Drive were an animal, it would be a Bear-Tiger-Alligator. If All Wheel Drive were a meal, it would be a 60 oz bloody rare steak, with heaping mashed potatoes and roided-out greasy onion rings. If All Wheel Drive were a concert it would be AC/DC (Bon Scott style) opening for bat-eating Ozzie Osbourne opening for Led Zeppelin circa 1970. If All Wheel Drive were a 2007 Chicago Bear it would be Hester-Urlacher-Muhammed (this is for you Nemo). If All Wheel Drive were an American Gladiator it would be 68%
Hellga, 17%
Wolf and 15%
Toa (if you have to look at those links to know who I am talking about you are un-American). Basically, All Wheel Drive could stroll through a Tsunami on the way to a Siberian blizzard to pick up a military cargo plane filled with Elephants to tow across the Atlantic ocean to drop off at an
Elephant sanctuary in Tennessee.
God, I love the snow. And I don't throw this around frivolously, All Wheel Drive, I am in love with you.
* If you don't get this, please watch
this.
2 comments:
Glad you made it to work safely without incident and that you have snow - lucky!
I adore Flight of the concords the your so pretty you could nearly be a model song is the best!
You wrote a lot more than 40 words. And all without ever once mentioning how you feel about AWD... What gives?
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