This came up in an image search for "dancing bears". Dancing indeed.This may be more of a love/hate relationship, but damn, these cookies are good. Maybe it’s because they are created by combining the sweet, unspoiled nectar of youth, a creamy dash of capitalism and a healthy dose of chocolatey competition.
I was in the lift line behind this gentleman during my recent ski trip. Things to note: The ears on the dead animal, the feet dangling, the goggles around the dead creatures body and the nonchalance of everyone else around him. I mean, he is a walking carcass for god's sake. 
Tina Fey plus Alec Baldwin equals romance to me.
I ate all three packages of pez from the dispenser, by myself, in one day.
The item I received was heart shaped, but you get the gist. It smelled like heaven and made my skin so smooth my ass didn't itch from dryness for the first time this whole winter.
This little guy did indeed make bath time lots of fun. Lots and lots of fun. 
Nothing says I love you like a box full of candy hearts all saying "I love you."
Just as delicious as the real thing, but without the risk of staining everything within a 15 yard radius red.
This is me enjoying my bath. Only, you know, way hotter. And without a dvd remote in one hand and a beer in the other.Nothing spells delicious like a big, bloody, rare piece of beef. With the right spices and hot off the grill, I have been known to eat my weight in red meat. Make me this meal to perfection and I’m yours.
I just drooled on my keyboard.
There is something about a man with facial hair that makes me weak in the knees. They exude ruggedness and masculinity. You can exfoliate while making out. Plus, I hear they are eager pleasers, if you know what I mean.
Fine men made finer by facial hair:
I admit the hillbilly look might not be for everyone, but this 'stache brings out Jason's inner redneck and I like it. Don't judge me.
If you want to track the origin of my beard fetish, look no further. Actually, as I'm typing this, I realize you can probably trace my overall taste in men back to the Dude, which, frankly, is pathetic.
I hereby declare my love and fidelity for Seth Rogen. You hear me Seth? Oh the things I would do for you and your facial hair. I'd shampoo it. I'd itch it. I wouldn't even complain much if you left clippings in the sink. I'm going to stop because I guarantee Seth will get his own 40 X 365, but let the record show I love him. And this picture is a two for because you see the hotness of bearded Paul Rudd on his shirt compared to the less hot beardless Paul in person.Sure, they have a bad reputation, but for a loyal, cuddly and playful dog, look no further than the noble American Staffordshire terrier. Nothing feels sweeter than a Pit curled up against you, its life complete just being near you.
How could you not love that face?
And Jon Stewart owns two! Can Jon Stewart be wrong?
Salty, piggy goodness. I have never eaten a better sandwich than prosciutto and queso manchego. Don’t even get me started on the divinity that is prosciutto wrapped cantaloupe balls. When I die, just wrap me in a shroud of prosciutto.
How is it that you can completely transform yourself in every role you play? And why am I so attracted to you whenever you play a character with a big bushy mustache? I’ll drink your milkshake. I’ll drink it up!
Now that's what I call a man.
Corn on a stick? Check! Fat people in tight ass shorts? Check! A bin of doll heads? Check! Flea markets are pure
In traffic, I haven’t a care in the world as I’m read a story like in kindergarten. What more efficient use of time than hearing the classics, or Stephen King, read by someone imitating the voice of the opposite gender?
Is there a better way of wasting time, forging relationships, flirting and conveying information than gchat? Who needs to talk to actual human beings and risk face to face humiliation when there are emoticons to take that risk for you?
9. Beef Barley Soup!
The day I spotted you in the middle school cafeteria, I knew we would have a long lasting relationship. While nothing is perfect, and I could do without your cooked carrots, your brain shaped barley wins me over every time.
When I switched from regular Coke to Diet it felt like leaving behind my best friend. When I discovered Coke Zero it was like I met someone who resembled my friend but was funnier, richer, more attractive AND calorie free.
Is there any more pleasurable activity than making out like the ship was going down with someone you actually like? A little drool here, a little nip there. Granted, this assumes that your partner doesn’t attempt to eat your epiglottis.
Fat babies make me feel like Lenny with the bunny. My first inclination is to gnaw on their chubby cheeks. Those thigh rolls call me to hold them and just squeeze tight. By the way, I’m always available to babysit.
How delightful to start each emailing day with “Your dic’k size will never arouse a derision.” Just when I think they have stopped trying, I hit refresh and see “Bigger penis stimulates more nerve endings in female pussy.” I’ll say.
Delicious, delicious rap
1. Snow!
