For the second day in a row there has been a woman in her mid fifties just sitting in the locker room for over an hour doing nothing. Both yesterday and today, she was there when I came in, and she was there when I left in the exact same position. Yesterday, she was in her underwear, eyes closed, headphones on, chin resting on chest, just sitting there. I almost went up to her yesterday to see if she was alright (ie. alive). But she was perched on a stool, and I figured if she was dead or unconscious, she would probably fall over. Today she was sitting on the couch in her swimsuit. Eyes closed, headphones on. She was there from the moment I got there to the time I left, doing the exact same thing. Here are some ideas I've been tossing around regarding what she might possibly be doing (not in order of likeliest).
1. Embracing an out of body experience
2. Strengthening her core
3. Trying to remember her locker combination
4. Communing with the dead
5. Getting the Led out
6. Conducting a sit in to protest her monthly fee
7. Air drying
8. Listening to self hypnosis tapes
9. Meditating
10. Writing the great American novel in her head
11. Practicing telepathy with her hubby in the men's locker room
12. Making everyone around her uncomfortable
It had been awhile since I went to the gym, so I am eager to see if this behavior continues (both the lady sitting without clothes for hours and my continued pursuit of health and fitness. Given her demonstrated commitment and dedication to whatever she is doing, I suggest placing money on her.).
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Friday, April 25, 2008
Headspace: Thoughts 1-11
Thoughts that have been occupying my headspace lately (in no order of importance to me):
1. How nervous was Daniel Radcliffe when he performed full frontal nudity on stage after months of hype?
- What were his biggest fears? Not living up to size expectations? Becoming aroused? Cellulite?
2. Are there non virgins who have never had their boobs felt/ felt a boob?
3. Why is Tina Fey so funny and how can I become her? And if I cannot become her, how can I befriend her in a non creepy way?
4. Why would anyone ever send me this website (WARNING: Contains pictures of poo)? And why did I look at it twice?
5. Do people who use the internet for dating have something seriously wrong with them, and if so, does that mean that since I have used the internet for dating, I have something seriously wrong with me?
6. Am I less charming in person than I think I am in my head (because that would explain a thing or two)?
7. Why do dressing rooms ever, EVER, use harsh overhead lighting and mirrors that make you look anything other than 10 pounds lighter?
8. If I had to pick only one song to karaoke, would it be something from Led Zeppelin or would it be the Ying Yang Twins? Which would get more applause if I actually sang it with conviction and without gasping for breath?
9. Are there people who really like going to the dentist?
10. Do anti-Semites hate matzo ball soup just on principle?
11. How weird will it be to dissect a human in medical school? Will it be weirder having my fellow classmates do OMM on me? Especially when they have to touch my butt? Will it be weirder for me to do it on them? Will I want to be partnered with someone I'm attracted to, someone I'm unattracted to or someone of my same sex (attractive or not)? What if someone (especially me) passes gas during the process? Is there anything one could say (either the person who did the deed or who heard it) to make that less awkward and uncomfortable? Can you ask someone out on a date while you are manipulating their skeletal system? Does that fall into the category of creepy?
Please feel free to provide answers to these questions. The more honest, the better.
1. How nervous was Daniel Radcliffe when he performed full frontal nudity on stage after months of hype?
- What were his biggest fears? Not living up to size expectations? Becoming aroused? Cellulite?
2. Are there non virgins who have never had their boobs felt/ felt a boob?
3. Why is Tina Fey so funny and how can I become her? And if I cannot become her, how can I befriend her in a non creepy way?
4. Why would anyone ever send me this website (WARNING: Contains pictures of poo)? And why did I look at it twice?
5. Do people who use the internet for dating have something seriously wrong with them, and if so, does that mean that since I have used the internet for dating, I have something seriously wrong with me?
6. Am I less charming in person than I think I am in my head (because that would explain a thing or two)?
7. Why do dressing rooms ever, EVER, use harsh overhead lighting and mirrors that make you look anything other than 10 pounds lighter?
8. If I had to pick only one song to karaoke, would it be something from Led Zeppelin or would it be the Ying Yang Twins? Which would get more applause if I actually sang it with conviction and without gasping for breath?
9. Are there people who really like going to the dentist?
10. Do anti-Semites hate matzo ball soup just on principle?
11. How weird will it be to dissect a human in medical school? Will it be weirder having my fellow classmates do OMM on me? Especially when they have to touch my butt? Will it be weirder for me to do it on them? Will I want to be partnered with someone I'm attracted to, someone I'm unattracted to or someone of my same sex (attractive or not)? What if someone (especially me) passes gas during the process? Is there anything one could say (either the person who did the deed or who heard it) to make that less awkward and uncomfortable? Can you ask someone out on a date while you are manipulating their skeletal system? Does that fall into the category of creepy?
Please feel free to provide answers to these questions. The more honest, the better.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
40 X 365: 37. A Man Without Love!
37. A Man Without Love!
I can listen to this song over and over and still not get tired of it. I imagine it is an anthem for broken hearted, emotionally sensitive yet repressed men who need Engelbert Humperdinck’s words to truly express their loneliness.
I can listen to this song over and over and still not get tired of it. I imagine it is an anthem for broken hearted, emotionally sensitive yet repressed men who need Engelbert Humperdinck’s words to truly express their loneliness.
Engelbert Humperdinck - A Man Without Love
A Man Without Love - From the Movie Cigarettes and Romance (starring James Gandolfini)
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
40 X 365: 36. Meringues!
36. Meringues!
Clouds of sugary bliss, why do I eat you until I’m ill? How do you pull me back for just one more? Is it because you are fat free? Maybe, but more likely it’s my total lack of self control.
Clouds of sugary bliss, why do I eat you until I’m ill? How do you pull me back for just one more? Is it because you are fat free? Maybe, but more likely it’s my total lack of self control.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
A weekend devoted to me!
So, I think it has become painfully obvious that I have fallen a little behind. Not to say I'm giving up on 40X365, but let's just say 365 may not happen in 365 days. Or ever. But I will try.
Before I make an attempt to get back into it, I wanted to take a moment to recap what was probably the best weekend of my life, until now or ever. It was my birthday this past weekend and with the help of some friends, it was the event of my life. Actually, it was like my wedding, but without having to share the attention with a stupid groom. My beautiful, sneaky, resourceful friend Tina flew in to celebrate with me. She took me out to eat at the most insanely intense restaurant I have ever been to where we enjoyed not one, not two, but 24 freaking courses. It was weird, it was delicious, it was awesome. Without my knowledge, Ms. Tina (who, I can't say this enough, went above and beyond the expectations of what a friend should do), along with Erin and Alexis and many others, planned the most incredible celebration ever. Alexis and Erin (in the most decisive moment of their life) helped plan a dinner at a delicious Lebanese restaurant complete with belly dancer. Man, do they know me (after 17 and 13 years, they better. What's more incredible, they still like me after all that time). Erin, despite not using the penis mold I specifically requested, made a 600 calorie a slice s'mores cake that will be served at my actual wedding. Then we went to this funky ass lounge Tina found where I was greeted by 30 of my closest friends. Seriously, I have never felt more loved in my life. My wonderful old roommates Nemo and Matt trekked from out of town to be there. I danced like a fool, drank entirely too much, and have 129 incriminating photos of myself and many others. I have realized that I have the best friends anyone could ever ask for and I am a really lucky duck. To those of you who were there and read this, I love you, and can't begin to thank you enough. I've never felt so special, and no group of people could ever make me feel as good. I should have a birthday every week.
You can understand after an event like this, it is hard to get back to my favorite things, because they were all encompassed in one weekend and 40 words isn't nearly enough to express just how awesome it was. This was a brief and superficial synopsis, but any attempt to dig deeper or share more would cheapen it. Thanks with all of my bloody, beating heart is all I can say.
Note: As all of this was planned without my knowledge, I have only heard bits and pieces of who planned what and how it came together. If I credited anyone incorrectly, or worse, didn't give credit where credit was due, I apologize. You all were just too crafty and successful in putting me off your scent and too humble to ever own up to what you did. All the same, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Before I make an attempt to get back into it, I wanted to take a moment to recap what was probably the best weekend of my life, until now or ever. It was my birthday this past weekend and with the help of some friends, it was the event of my life. Actually, it was like my wedding, but without having to share the attention with a stupid groom. My beautiful, sneaky, resourceful friend Tina flew in to celebrate with me. She took me out to eat at the most insanely intense restaurant I have ever been to where we enjoyed not one, not two, but 24 freaking courses. It was weird, it was delicious, it was awesome. Without my knowledge, Ms. Tina (who, I can't say this enough, went above and beyond the expectations of what a friend should do), along with Erin and Alexis and many others, planned the most incredible celebration ever. Alexis and Erin (in the most decisive moment of their life) helped plan a dinner at a delicious Lebanese restaurant complete with belly dancer. Man, do they know me (after 17 and 13 years, they better. What's more incredible, they still like me after all that time). Erin, despite not using the penis mold I specifically requested, made a 600 calorie a slice s'mores cake that will be served at my actual wedding. Then we went to this funky ass lounge Tina found where I was greeted by 30 of my closest friends. Seriously, I have never felt more loved in my life. My wonderful old roommates Nemo and Matt trekked from out of town to be there. I danced like a fool, drank entirely too much, and have 129 incriminating photos of myself and many others. I have realized that I have the best friends anyone could ever ask for and I am a really lucky duck. To those of you who were there and read this, I love you, and can't begin to thank you enough. I've never felt so special, and no group of people could ever make me feel as good. I should have a birthday every week.
You can understand after an event like this, it is hard to get back to my favorite things, because they were all encompassed in one weekend and 40 words isn't nearly enough to express just how awesome it was. This was a brief and superficial synopsis, but any attempt to dig deeper or share more would cheapen it. Thanks with all of my bloody, beating heart is all I can say.
Note: As all of this was planned without my knowledge, I have only heard bits and pieces of who planned what and how it came together. If I credited anyone incorrectly, or worse, didn't give credit where credit was due, I apologize. You all were just too crafty and successful in putting me off your scent and too humble to ever own up to what you did. All the same, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Bottomless Basket of Awesome
In accordance with my favorite things, my clever, beautiful friend Lara made me a birthday present consisting of ...my favorite things. The best part? She knew many things that I hadn't even posted about, and even got a few that later became posts (she bought them before I wrote about them). The contents of the most incredible basket ever:
Many coke zeros
Many boxes of peeps
Nag Champa insense
Gift Certificate to Tapas
Three deluxe chocolate bars
Pachouli soap (that's specifically not just for hippies!)
Body scrub that smells like heaven
Bubble bath that smells like cookies
Aveda body wash, shampoo and conditioner
Two bite brownies from Whole Foods
The first season of the Office
The sweetest card ever
A beautiful woven basket
I actually feel like I am leaving some stuff out, but that is just how overflowing with wonderfulness this thing was. Lara is a new mom and the fact that she had time to put this together blows me away. I don't know what I did to deserve this (most days I feel like I want to kidnap her baby) but I'll take it. Actually, she gave this to me a few days before my birthday and within three days the peeps, brownies, 2 chocolate bars and coke zeros were gone.
Many coke zeros
Many boxes of peeps
Nag Champa insense
Gift Certificate to Tapas
Three deluxe chocolate bars
Pachouli soap (that's specifically not just for hippies!)
Body scrub that smells like heaven
Bubble bath that smells like cookies
Aveda body wash, shampoo and conditioner
Two bite brownies from Whole Foods
The first season of the Office
The sweetest card ever
A beautiful woven basket
I actually feel like I am leaving some stuff out, but that is just how overflowing with wonderfulness this thing was. Lara is a new mom and the fact that she had time to put this together blows me away. I don't know what I did to deserve this (most days I feel like I want to kidnap her baby) but I'll take it. Actually, she gave this to me a few days before my birthday and within three days the peeps, brownies, 2 chocolate bars and coke zeros were gone.
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