With your abundance of seating (mostly old, worn out couches that might have been found on the street), flattering lighting, enviable juke box, sound beer selection and grungy men, how could I do anything but fall in love with you.
Kitsch done right.You usually smell bad, you are often filthy, sometimes you’re way to stiff and then other times you seem so fragile I feel like you’ll fall apart in front of me. And still can’t seem to get enough of you.
I see the tell tale blue water and I think “JACKPOT!” It’s already 2:30p, yet no one has used this toilet today. There’s nothing like taking the inaugural pee in a sanitized toilet that escaped use for the entire day.
Nothing says youthful like a face full of freckles. I have a freckle conglomerate on my nose every summer from many year’s worth of burns. Admittedly, the line between delightfully tinted flesh and dangerous skin condition can sometimes be blurry.
Freckles: guaranteed to make anyone 73% more adorable.
America
Oh amplifier of flavor, enhancer of bland, there are few meals which you cannot make infinitely better. High blood pressure be damned! Sometimes, I wish I were a deer so sucking on a salt lick wouldn’t break with normative behavior.
So. Jealous.
